First things first…but not necessarily in that order.

There is so much more that I should be doing right now; but I have decided that those parts of my brain have been damaged; are healing and not functional… I am tired and there is no end in sight. Yesterday someone at work asked when daylight savings time ends, I checked my purse calendar (despite the fact that I already “knew” that it was the 1st of November), felt a little burst of energy at the thought of an extra hour, followed by an immediate “let down” that time will move backwards for one little hour. Why can’t we rearrange the words and somehow come out with an entire extra day…maybe because I could not handle the fact that I would lose an entire day in the spring? No matter how many things I need to do; I fancy this blog thing and decided to unload a little baggage and then resume my “need to” list…or actually go to bed.

I have not run in 5 days…I am aggravated at mother nature but I hear her rebuttal, “Hey YOU! Use the gym membership you pay for monthly”…she wins!

I cried at school today…no, it was not because I made a bad grade on my test…an A actually (after I was given 2 points credit for a miskeyed question); as Dana was lecturing about SOAP notes, she made a reference to something a physician once told her about coping with chronic illness; “Get a box, put your old self in it and bury it in the backyard because you will never see that person again”. WOW! Incredibly true; I thought of Jackson; missed him - the before cancer him - but embraced the metaphor, gave into the lump in my throat, let the tears roll and deposited that quote into my memory bank; it was good.

Greer has decided that rules are elastic; that they stretch and bend. I see her little nose, shaped liked mine, posed in her corner for many more 2-minute sessions.

I have research class tomorrow and I dread it; I do carry a little guilt for not having this fervor for research; it will pass!

I miss my daddy; that will never pass.

I didn’t cook dinner tonight; need to go to the grocery store…wonder where that falls on the list?

My grey hair is showing through my new “chocolate brown” hairdo…I’m remembering why I had highlights to the point where I was almost totally blonde…despite the grey streaks peek through…I’m still loving the brown!

I forget things all too often these days…it’s frustrating.


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© Chaos