Am I mistaken?

I never thought I would be using the words “my” and “child” and “cancer” in the same sentence. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I feared - due to Jackson’s tiny stature – he would not have the strength or the will to battle this tumor that had already spread throughout his spinal cord. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I worried our blended family, just recovering from the premature delivery of our daughter, would crack and break apart; unable to deal with the acquisition such a heavy burden. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I in no way thought people could be so hateful and depraved towards a mother carrying (at times literally) her child through painful and toxic treatments. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I assumed making decisions regarding your child’s health was easy; black and white – no grey area. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I was sure the side effects of the chemotherapy were easy to recognize; seen on the outside; too obvious to ignore. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I knew I was not going to be able to get out of the bed, take care of my other child, cook and clean, continue graduate school; function as I had always done before. Turns out, I was mistaken.

I am terrified at this chill I get in my bones from time to time; a feeling only a mother knows, a sign of what is to come. Am I mistaken?

Any Questions?
© Chaos