My angel is no different

Is it possible that the school year is coming to an end? I am again amazed at just how quickly time passes. See the month of May 2010 does not only mark the end of Jackson’s second grade year, Mark and my 6th wedding anniversary, Mark’s 40th birthday, my graduation, and Mother’s Day but this month on the 29th we will celebrate 1 year with NO CHEMO.

May 29, 2009 Jackson received his last IV push of Vinblastine – or as I often refer to it – “poison”. Although it may seem there should have been celebration that day – this momma was dying on the inside. For 17 months I had been aware of this tumor – and for 16 months Jackson had been getting chemotherapy – but after that day, the 29th of May, there would be no more medicine to “control” the tumor I hated so much – I’m confessing, I wasn’t celebrating but I was understanding – there was a necessity to stop poisoning the poor child, a method to their madness – the protocol required a specific length of chemotherapy doses and we were there. I would have settled for an MRI machine here at the house – after all moms do not really have the x-ray vision we have always claimed to have.

Time proved that I would be okay but more so that my angel would be okay. Jackson brought home a permission slip yesterday. See he is one of the top 5 readers in the entire elementary school (over 600 kids) and they are being treated to a limo ride to Johnny’s Pizza as a reward. I signed with pride.

Jackson has an MRI Tuesday – and while I’m ready for some positive results so we can get ready for a fabulous summer – Jackson remains emotional. I think he is scared that this MRI will pull “the rug” out from underneath him – he loves a normal life. Jackson travels a different road – one with twists and turns, steep hills and bottomless ditches – he gets stuck in potholes and treads on gravel at times. He has his fair share of emotional meltdowns, angry outbursts, gut wrenching sadness – there are also days of pure joy and happiness where the challenges are simple and he shoulders life’s burdens with ease. I pray that this MRI will bring a calmness to his deep fears. It is only this inanimate object that can “tell” Jackson what his future holds – I have a fierce determination that he will get the news he so badly wants – I have yet to meet a child stricken with cancer that did not deserve to be cancer free – my angel is no different.

Any Questions?