2. I dealt with someone who thought their child’s constipation for 4 hours was a medical emergency. When she changed a poopy diaper we reviewed the definition of constipation!
3. I entered a patient's chief complaint as "I'm drunk"... at 7am.
4. I had at least 3 patients with a nose-ring, eye-brow ring, etc… tell me "I'm afraid of needles"... since when?
5. I worked a code and actually thought to myself, "as long as he's got a pulse, I won't worry about whatever rhythm he is in for now”…
6. My dieting was successful… I ate from the 4 major food groups: chocolate, coffee, Diet Dr. Pepper and frozen yogurt.
7. I had at least 3 people tell me introduce their chief complaint as follows, “I was searching the Internet . . .”
8. I’ve decided we need an aerial spraying of Prozac for the waiting room.
9. I took a phone call that dealt with a "lost condom" …
10. I learned that my bladder can expand to the size of a hot air balloon – and not explode!
Any Questions?
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