God could not be everywhere, so He created mothers

All my life I wanted to be a mother – even before I really knew what being a mother was all about. One of my favorite stories from my childhood, told by my own momma, is that of the day I toddled out of my bedroom – the hem of the shirt tucked under my chin – me and all my glory – breastfeeding my baby doll. I have no recollection of that afternoon but I am certain that it shows how being a momma is not something we decide to do one day – it is something that we are born with.

Being the mother of two is more than I could have ever imagined… all the way from feeling like a saint to someone overwhelmed by insanity – did I take a shower or brush my teeth today? Is it okay to wear the same bra 2 days in a row? Is it normal to have so much grey hair – and NO time to make an appointment to have it colored? Why do I cry on the way to work? Sometimes on the way home? (just kidding about the later).

While I cannot wait to add to our family – I am still smacked upside the head with those moments of; “What was I thinking?” – it’s kinds like that cliché about roses and thorns, in other words the bad times never take away the magnificence… NEVER!

Since the age of 22 I have been drooled on, spit-up on, puked on, peed on, pooped on – and loved on. I have wiped noses, handprints, butts, mouths – and tears out of blue eyes. I have been pushed, pulled, tugged, pinched, climbed, head-butted – and hugged. I have answered who? what? when? why? how? how many? – and answered “cause I’m the momma” whether it fit the question or not. I have eyes in the back of my head, ears that can hear a baby breathe across the house, a nose that can smell an open bottle of fingernail polish in a 3 year olds room – and a touch that craves their hands in mine. I can cook, talk on the phone, help with homework, mop the floor with a towel, threaten to kill a barking Chihuahua …all at the same time. I have been a short-order cook, a taxi, a maid, a nurse (off the clock), a masseuse, a teacher – their mother.

God could not be everywhere, so He created mothers. ~ Jewish Proverb

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RaNdOm ReStLeSs RaMbLe

I glance at my to-do list… I roll my eyes and begin to look over it; I read it and re-read it. I am shocked at not only the overwhelming amount of ink that occupies the once white paper – but at the possibility that 10 other items may find their way onto the list before I am able to so much as scratch one – productivity eludes me. I am a candidate for the Dr. Phil show – it would take more than one episode for sure!

I look around my room, reminded why “clean bedroom” is #8 on the to-do list – I see books which reminds me that I have my exit exams in 16 days…my heart races. A hot pink backpack, New Balance tennis shoes and a sock occupy the space next to my side of the bed; the battery “light” on my phone is red – too lazy to reach over and plug it in. The dryer buzzes – my sheets are clean; no, that was not on the list – Mark washed them this time…who am I kidding, he washes them every time. Greer is looking for “Pigty” – Jackson yawns – dinner was gourmet, fish sticks and mac and cheese. Does it get anymore middle-class American? My eyes are so heavy; I taught today which means my feet hit the floor long before the sun hit the horizon.

I hear my toothbrush and washcloth calling my name – louder and above all other noises within a 10ft radius – so tonight I’m gonna be a little selfish – brush my teeth, wash my face – tuck my munchkins in so tight, kiss that Romeo that sleeps to my left --- I hope to be dreaming before 10pm, it’s my reward for a long week and preparation for all that lies ahead - although it won't be nearly enough. And all the while I'll be remembering that God’s promises are like the stars; the darker the night – the brighter they shine.

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Sometimes you gotta fight like a girl.

The first week in February I had an appointment – the yearly, girly kind. While I am certain that I am of the minority when I say that I would rather have a pap smear than my teeth cleaned; I mean it with no hesitation, it is so not a big deal to me – occupational hazard we’ll call it.

Preconceptional counseling? Mark and I have been tossing around the idea of another baby, while we have always known that we are going to have one or two more – at this point the only question was timing. As I prepare to graduate – the timing is perfect for us… little did I know I would soon get another life lesson in “not everything happens in our time”.

While talking to my much loved OB/GYN during my appointment, I was trying to explain how I was SO ready to get pregnant in one hand but so very hesitant to have my IUD removed in the other – I was hit with the good ole fashioned W.I. (women’s intuition – it never fails me).

About 5 minutes later, during my breast exam my doctor found a lump in my left breast – it wasn’t the words she spoke that chilled my bones but the look on her face. Despite the what she was thinking, she spoke encouraging words she was… “SteLLaR” actually (that is what she calls things that are fabulous) – I trust her with every inch of my being.

2 weeks later – results of a mammogram (view after view after view) and ultrasound (performed by by the tech and eventually the doctor personally) confirmed the lump is suspicious; I had been told to plan on a biopsy that day – there would be none. The radiologist said it was a waste of time – this lump is something that we cannot “sit” on she explained – I felt the lump in my breast migrate to my throat. I have an appointment next week for a surgical consult – I’ll be scheduling my lumpectomy – needles, cuts, stitches and ultimately a pathology report await me.

This is just another chapter in the book that will eventually make me famous – I
have lots of faith, after all, if you feed your faith – your fears will starve to death.

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Love is...

1. What we have been through together.
2. Giving our all, all the time.
3. A flood of hope when I need it the most.
4. Why we are on Earth; together.
5. Music to my ears (and eyes).
6. Finding strength in each other.
7. Our so silly nicknames.
8. That look in his eyes when he looks in mine.
9. Sharing one heart.
10. ...US!



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I miss him so...

"Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever" - Author Unknown.

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I love...

...Babies with blue eyes – my babies to be exact.
...Pink – anything pink – pink – pink - the hotter the better.
...A pedicure with my eyes closed – so relaxin’.
...Working night shift – days are not my thing.
...The man that holds my heart – he is perfect for all my imperfections - ummmm.
...A king cake from Julianne’s – OMG, I think I ate half of it by.my.self – it wasn’t small.
...Sewing – wait to you see what I have been up to.
...The idea of another baby – ready to make it a reality.
...Schools closed thanks to record snow storms in the south - pics on previous post.
...GOOD RESULTS ON AN MRI – God is good all the time.
...Celebrating my "mini me"'s birthday on Valentine's Day.
...Celebrating my birthday the day after.
...Just how amazing my life is turning out to be.

Happy Valentine's Day to my chaotic clique - 'cause I love you too!

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A Momma and her 2 Eskimos

My eskimos ready to go play in the snow.

I have a feeling he has plans for that snowball...hummmmm?

Monkey see, Monkey do... Monkey make a snowball too!

Jackson and I: Snowball fight 2010

Jackson and our snowman - Dedicated to Pappy who loved the snow so much.

Snow Angel - no words can describe those eyes or what they do to my heart.

A very cold eskimo chewing her bubble gum.


I have to admit, I was skeptical. After all, if the weathermen were paid based on their accuracy, they would be broke. I should have known - after the Saints won the super bowl - ANYTHING was possible, even record snow fall in Dallas - 12.5 inches in 24 hours.
I had initially dreaded our trip to Dallas, it was MRI time; the time when my heart aches and my lip quivers - I want so badly for my baby boy to be cured of this horrible disease known as cancer - everything in God's time. Dread quickly turned to joy when I awoke on Thursday morning (late as always) and looked outside to see several inches of snow smiling back at me - I felt my Daddy kiss my forehead. I cringed at the thought of driving to the hospital - for obvious reasons - but looked forward to coming back to momma's house to play in the snow.
Jackson did great with the MRI - we scanned brain and spine which always takes a little longer but worth the wait just to know what lies ahead in terms of treatment. After we arrived back at momma's house, Jackson slept off the anesthesia, Greer took a nap and Momma and I headed to the store for gloves and "snow" boots (rain boots actually but you get my point).
The pictures above show how much fun the kids and I had - very disappointed that Mark Louis was stuck in Bossier City working - but I took plenty of pictures and video - memories like such are priceless and I would not have missed this day in the snow with my babies for anything. There is nothing more precious than a momma and her 2 eskimos.

FYI: MRI results = No tumor growth; all metastasis stable; next MRI in 12 weeks. God is Good!

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Supa' Beauxl Sunday

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When I...

...stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

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